The Spell Checker
I wrote this for a school assignment in eleveth grade. We had to pick a poem, find its literary elements and discuss the theme of it. We then had to present our work in a speech to the entire class. Fore each girl's presentation, our teacher called in a different 'guest' to make it feel more official. The 'guests' were our principals, assistant principals, secretaries, the menahel ruchni, the nurse etc.

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue,
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

To rite with care is quite a feet,
Of which won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best we can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

And now bee cause my spelling,
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults with in my cite,
Of none eye am a wear.

Each frays come posed up on my screen,
Eye trussed to bee a joule,
The checker poured o’er every word,
To cheque sum spelling rule.

That’s why aye brake in two averse,
By righting wants too pleas,
Sow now eye sea why aye dew prays,
Such soft wear for pea seas!

You’d never believe this is true, but it is. In the year 1899, Charles H. Duell, commissioner of the U.S. Patent Office relayed the following quote: “Everything that can be invented has been invented,” He meant to say that there was no need to keep the U. S. Patent Office up and running. Duell rationalized that since they were experiencing the epitome of technological achievements, what more can possibly be created? Ha, what more can possibly be created? A lot more! How about these: computers, palm pilots, CAT scans, electronic thesauruses and even the spell checker. In these days, which computer runs without a spell checker? It’s practically basic.

Yet as the recent modern technology aided in developing the Modern Era, we’ve lost some contact with the Manual Era, the Do-it-yourself Era. Ever hear people shriek in an exasperated tone, “Gee, it’s so old fashioned – must come from the pre-grandparents era!”? Nearly everyone is trying to compete in the technological race forward. Ever hear statements like “I’ve got the latest model Pocket P.C..” or “I bet you’ve never seen the 2004 make of our newly purchased Lamborghini.” People are totally uninterested in considering the older version, the older model, or the older design. After all, they reason, why use the old stuff, if there’s much more advanced and newer items available?

As a result of all this, people are relying on their newfangled ideas more heavily than ever before. I mean, what on earth is wrong with using your brain a little bit? By the way, the smartest person in the world only used 3% of his brain. There’s still another 97% to strive for. We shouldn’t leave it all to the innovative inventions. Rather, let’s do it ourselves. We shouldn’t leave it all to those limited spell checkers. Rather let’s use our brain to correct our written works ourselves. There’s an interesting saying that goes like this: The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

In the poem you’re about to hear, you’ll see how the poet errs tremendously by resting assured that his poem is grammatically free of errors. Ironically enough, though, his poem is only 54% error-free. Of the 176 words in his poem, a whopping 81 are spelled incorrectly. Could you believe it?

This poem is written in a satirical and ironic manner. The poet is ensnared in the lure of the ever enticing inventions, in this case the spell checker, and he innocently believes he’s getting his money’s worth. He clearly states: There are no faults within my sight. Ironically enough, he is completely unaware of his own mistakes! This poem forces us to realize that it’s human energy and toil that count. It’s not the newest or quickest equipment that produce perfection.

Oh, and as a side note, don’t you ever trust a spell checker! Their so called brains have an extremely limited capacity.

Besides, what’s wrong with the “good old fashioned”?

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